I’m not saying that being an emotional mess is attractive – it’s plainly not! – but the notion of there being a enlightened utopian state that you have to be in, in order to find love, is just not true.

I think it is a convenient stick (or excuse) to beat ourselves with if we find ourselves unhappy with the state of our relationship affairs. Indeed, the real reason we find ourselves without love is that we haven’t CHOSEN it – we’ve chosen something else.

When I say choice, I mean an unconscious choice that guides our actions, filters our experiences, colours our views and dictates what we end up getting in life. This choice may be one of independence – thinking deep down that we are better off alone in some way. But how do we do that?

• It may be due to a mistrust of giving ourselves up to someone else – I mean what will they do with us if we give ourselves to them on a plate??
• It may be due to feeling scared of commitment based on what we MIGHT miss out on – “Surely the grass if greener over there, hang on yes I think it is, look…!” “Oh, and now I’m there, the grass is even greener next door…” etc etc.
• It may be due to thinking that we’re not good enough to attract the partner of our dreams so we

a)    end up not looking at all or

b)    attract the wrong people and convince ourselves that it’s because all of the good ones have been taken

• It may be that we’re scared of rejection so we’d rather not try
• It may be that we just don’t know what we want or how we’ll know when we have it!

I went for years wanting a committed relationship, thinking that I was ready to meet “THE ONE”. But deep down, I was thinking or feeling all of the above!!

So if we don’t have to be a fully realised being before we can find love, what does it take to meet “THE ONE”?

You have to choose it! Whatever it takes, you have to DECIDE – not just consciously but unconsciously. Because your decisions in the past may have limited you from being “ready”, you have to address these old decisions and make new ones. Deciding on the relationship you want by a certain date is a great way to force you to clear out your emotional closet.

In Part 2 I will share with you the specifics of how I used this process and NLP coaching to meet my own soulmate.

Love life,

Adam Sprackling, NLP Coach

My wife Catherine and I bought our house just over 2 years ago. The mortgage was sizeable and I started to worry about how to pay for it! I remember my brother (not an NLP coach!) once saying that to have more money I didn’t need to save more money, I needed to MAKE MORE MONEY! I took his advice and made more than twice as much money that month than I had ever earned! This is how I did it then and how I coach others to do it now:

1. Value yourself
The extent to which you value yourself will often be mirrored by how much you earn. So consider, do you really feel you deserve the kind of money you would like? If not, take time to consider the following questions…

Before you started doubting your worth, where were you? What did you feel about yourself then? Now that you’ve had a lifetime of other experiences since then, what do you need to teach that old you, in order to let go of that old unhelpful belief? Knowing how valuable you now are, check how easy it is to continue valuing yourself even more.

2. Value money!
To learn to be your own NLP coach, you need to know that you attract things into your life with your EMOTIONS. Emotions are magnetic – love attracts love, fear attracts fear – so love of money attracts money. So how do you feel about money? Is it a wonderful thing or necessary evil? Are you its master or its slave? Does money overall make you feel happy or unhappy?? To tackle any unhelpful feelings, read on…

3. Act like money acts
The more we have in common with people, the more we can influence those people. The same goes for money. The more respect, love and understanding you have with money, the more you can magnetise yourself to it. So imagine now that you are money itself, what’s it like? For me, I was money I would:

- Want to flow in and out as much as possible – want to be spent as well as earned
- Love lots of energising relationships
- Not care where I go to or where I come from – I have no feelings, I just want movement and action!
- Be energy and so be infinite

Consider now for you, what would it be like to be money? How would you need act differently to be that way? How do you need to start valuing and building relationships?

Newspapers would have you believe that the most important thing regarding money is the economy. Not true – the most important thing regarding money is YOUR ECONOMY. Right now, it is more important than ever to allow money to flow – earn, invest, spend. If you just hold tight and don’t spend, money, as energy, stops flowing out but also stops flowing in. Notice as you allow energy to flow what comes back!

The message is simple, if you want to change your bank balance, change your attitude, invest in yourself and your relationships! If you need some NLP coaching to help with this, I’d love to help you make more money so get in touch.

Love
Adam Sprackling, NLP Coach

I have since heard many reports from people who’ve been to see a ˜Life Coach” and had mixed to disappointing results. Once again it is time for me to explain what I really do!

Life Coaching, it seems, can mean many things some coaches give advice, some do counselling, others do basic level coaching on making surface level changes but very few create consistent, deep level change.

For any change to stick, it has to fit with what you believe about yourself deep down. If you don’t really believe you can do something, or in fact deserve it, you just end up TRYING really hard until your willpower runs out! Just think, why don’t diets work?

From my point of view, if coaching doesn’t consistently produce long term results, then why do it?

Life Coaching tends to be for the CONSCIOUS MIND (ie your thinking mind). It:

• focuses you on goals
• uses workarounds to help with problems (ie how to COPE with STUFF better)
• gives you advice on steps to improve your life
• provides someone to chat to

For some people, it may well be enough for them to create a short term fix.

NLP Breakthrough Coaching is for the CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS MIND (your thinking AND your deeper mind).
It:

• focuses you on what is actually important for you
• removes the blocks and limitations that hold you back in life
• teaches you how to communicate really well with your deeper mind to help you be naturally more happy, aware and fulfilled
• ensures your Conscious Mind and Unconscious Mind work together so that you make a life for yourself that you love
• enables you to start being who you want to be, doing what you want to do and having what you want to have

For example, a recent client of mine had ME. He’d had it for 12 years and had tried various different approaches to sort it out yet none of them had worked. Using deep questioning techniques, he discovered that he thought power was a bad thing a belief he’d had from being bullied in childhood, where power was misused against him. Since that time, he had switched his own power off and created symptoms that doctors labelled ME. Once he had let go of the attachment to this early experience, his beliefs about power changed immediately, causing him to instantly turn on his internal power again. Over the space of a few hours, he had uncovered the root cause of his ME, resolved it and all the emotions around it, and suddenly his mind and body came back to life, with his ME symptoms disappearing instantly and staying that way. 6 months later he ran the San Francisco Marathon!

He had proved that this kind of problem couldn’t be solved with just trying to think or do things differently.

If you want to chat to someone, see a Life Coach. If you want your life to be different, book yourself an NLP Breakthrough Session.

Adam Sprackling